“Every morning, we are late getting out the door for school and work. It takes forever to wake up my kids, then we rush to get ready and help them find their stuff for school.”
“How do I get my family to use the family calendar I created? It is color-coded for each person, and everything is organized. They seemed excited when I made it, but now I just feel like I’m nagging them.”
“My kids complain about the dinners I make and insist on having pasta instead.”
“My son has two baseball games this weekend, plus a birthday party. I need to buy the gift and do a load of laundry Saturday night, so his uniform is clean for game two.”
Feeling overwhelmed as a parent? You are not alone. Parental burnout is real. You may feel stuck managing everyone’s schedule, even resentful that it all falls on you. It’s important to realize that you aren’t the only one feeling that stress. It’s worth stepping back to consider how to lighten the load — for your sake and your family’s.
Start with a question: What decisions do I actually make for this family?
The Parent Encouragement Program offers a webinar on planning family meetings in which parents build a long list: meal planning, screen time, chores, family events, homework, extracurriculars, wake-up times and bedtimes, appointments.
How do they feel at the end of this exercise? Parents often say they feel overwhelmed, stressed, and frustrated when their plans are not followed. Tracking everything, deciding everything, and motivating everyone to follow through is exhausting.
Could you be “overparenting” — carrying more than you need to?
It is a fair but uncomfortable question. Of course, you love your child and want a safe, cheerful home. But your stress is a signal worth listening to:
- Kids grow fast. Keeping up with each developmental stage — and their growing need for independence — is a lot to deal with.
- A parent’s job changes over time. New parents manage every need, but by the time kids become teens, parents have become mentors preparing them for adulthood.
- As kids develop, the balance shifts between what you do for them and what they’re responsible for. Power struggles and stress often signal it is time to hand off more.
That’s not a failure. It’s a chance to recalibrate.
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So how do you lighten the load?
Take your list of decisions, talk with your partner about which ones to hand off, then bring the family in on it. Frame it as a shared growth opportunity, not a guilt trip.
Step 1: Name the problem, not the person.
Take the morning issue. The problem is “Insufficient sleep” or “Left violin at home,” not “You always make me late for work.” Naming the problem instead of the person keeps shame and defensiveness out of it.
Step 2: Solve it together.
Give kids real ownership. Break it into pieces: research how much sleep they need and adjust bedtime; shop for an alarm clock; talk through backpacks (what needs to be packed and when). Ask for their ideas on making mornings easier. With your guidance and collaboration, they will take on more responsibilities.
Step 3: Bring humor and confidence.
Expect things to go well, and notice when they do, even small wins. Humor helps. Let the funniest, most playful person in the family lead.
One mom of three teens said her kids kept ignoring their alarms, so now she karaokes an ’80s song in the hallway every morning at 7 a.m. When they complain, she says: “You wouldn’t be hearing it if you were in the shower!” Her mornings are a lot less stressful now.
Here is the freeing part: remember that you have options. You do not have to accept the status quo of carrying it all yourself. The next time you feel stuck and overwhelmed, try seeing it as an invitation: a chance to help your child build independence and confidence to take care of themselves.
Colleen Reed is Program Director at the Parent Encouragement Program (PEP) in Kensington, MD. She is a certified parent educator and has been leading programs since 2014. For more information about classes, visit PEPparent.org.
