For many kids, organized sports aren’t much fun anymore.
Overbearing parents, over-the-top coaches and overzealous competition are
frequent images associated with youth-athletic leagues today. Though
playing ball often used to embody the enjoyment of being a kid, the
experience for many youngsters is too serious and stressful – and
ultimately not worth it.
One study revealed 70 percent of U.S. Children drop out of organized sports
by age 13, with pressure and burnout among the main reasons cited.
“The politics, as well as the over-emphasis adults put on kids to see a
college scholarship as the ultimate goal, is ruining a kid’s ability to get
the most out of sports,” says Maya Castro, author of ”
The Bubble: Everything I Learned as a Target of the Political, and
Often Corrupt, World of Youth Sports”
(thebubbleweb.com).
“This over-emphasis has created an environment amongst the parents and
coaches that is similar to a mafia. We badly need changes in this toxic,
political and corrupt environment. And it must start with the parents,”
says Castro.
Castro, who says her own experience as a young soccer player was tainted by
misguided and misbehaving adults, offers ideas on how adults can improve
the youth-sports culture:
-
Strive to be a mentor.
Castro says parents and coaches have a great opportunity to use
sports as a teaching tool for life. “The learning aspect of the
game needs to be the focal point of youth sports,” Castro says.
“Sports should be an extension of family values and behaviors. Good
parents and coaches tie in the ups and downs of competition with
the challenges in navigating adult life.” -
Model positive behaviors.
Part of the negative image of youth sports is related to parents
yelling at coaches, referees, opponents or even their own kids.
“There are enough critics in the stands hurling profanities and
insults during a game,” implores Castro. “Parents should set the
right example for their kid – and for adults who obviously haven’t
grown up.” -
Enjoy the moment.
Too many parents and their young athletes are fretting the future.
“Too often it’s all about winning and getting the scholarship,”
Castro says, “but my parents told me there was a time when kids
actually enjoyed playing for the sake of playing, and parents won
just by getting to watch them play. We need to get back to that.
Without it, memories are wasted.” -
Be encouraging.
“Celebrate the effort, not just the result,” notes Castro. “This
goes for youth coaches, as well as parents. When kids do some good
things, don’t let the mistakes cloud your post-game comments. Be
honest in discussing room for improvement, but not at the expense
of making them feel like they have to play perfect to get praise.” -
Make education first.
Castro and many observers of youth sports say parents have lost
perspective by thinking their kid is on the fast track to a
scholarship or a pro career. Statistics show few advance that far.
“In the meantime, kids are exhausted from travel leagues and
tournaments,” she says, “and the way their future through sports is
emphasized, education becomes a distant second.”
“Whether a kid decides to keep playing sports or to walk away,” Castro
warns, “he or she should be able to do so without deep regret in having
wasted their time.”
