We’ve all seen it – the parent who stands on the sidelines criticizing the
decisions made by coaches and officials; the one who yells at their own child
when they make a mistake; the fan who hurls rude remarks to the opposing
team; and the parent who always places blame. Some of us have even had the
misfortune of witnessing brawls. This is not teaching our kids good sportsmanship.
What’s in winning and losing?
There’s no question, winning is rewarding and boosts self-esteem. However,
well-meaning parents sometimes are so caught up in the competitiveness that
they lose sight of the real value of sports. Winning is not just being the
victor of a game. It’s becoming the best all-around person one can be.
Children who carry this with them will be the ones to prevail.
What’s in losing? Plenty. It teaches lessons in perseverance, humility,
respect and acceptance of defeat.
What does losing mean? It means to come out second best. Defeat is not
failure. A child or parent who walks away satisfied, whether victorious or
not, is the true winner.
What else do sports offer? Opportunities to build friendships, lessons on
the importance of rules, fairness and honesty, anger management, leadership
skills and how to work as a team. In short, sports teach important
principles of life that will be of immense value in the years to come.
Tips for supporting your child
Make the most of your child’s involvement by showing your support and what
it means to be a good sport.
- Avoid pointing out your child’s mistakes or criticizing. This only serves to make kids feel worse. Your child is most likely already aware of the mistake.
- Practice with your child, but don’t push. Offer pointers and demonstrate proper techniques, but allow mistakes to go without frequent correction.
- Praise your child’s efforts.
- Allow coaches and officials to do their jobs. If you feel an error was made, remember it’s a tough job and that we all make mistakes.
- Realize it will probably come out in the wash.
- Cheer on your child and their team.
- Don’t put down the other team’s players, and be courteous and respectful of the other team’s fans.
- When talking with your child about a game, point out specific displays of sportsmanship that took place to show the difference between being a good sport and a poor one.
- If your child isn’t enjoying the sport, don’t force them to stay in it. For many children, team sports aren’t the answer. Help find another activity or a solo sport that is more suited to them.
- Set up a sportsmanship recognition program for your child’s team, offering Certificates of Outstanding Sportsmanship to players who set examples of being a good sport. If a child is struggling with sportsmanship, look for opportunities to help them brush up on their skills, and reward accordingly as reinforcement.
- Acknowledge and show interest in team members whose abilities don’t stand out.
- Don’t place blame when the team loses.
- Read “It’s How You Play the Game: Reclaiming Sportsmanship and Honor” by Bobby Newman.
Originally published: 10-01-17
Updated: 11-21-22
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