Mindful Parenting Tips
The way you and your partner communicate sets the tone for your household. When the two of you argue, tension is in the air. When the two of you are in sync, the household feels more peaceful. If you want to cultivate a relationship – and a household environment – that’s more harmonious, consider trying these tips to help you speak mindfully with your partner.
Schedule time to talk away from the kids.
If your days are filled with school schedules, extracurricular programs, meal prep and work deadlines, it can be challenging to find time to talk. After the kids go to bed, your inclination may be to shut off your brain, kick back and watch your favorite Netflix show. While relaxation time is important, it’s also important to tend to your relationship and your household.
Be intentional about finding time to talk, whether it’s before the kids get up in the morning, after they go to sleep at night or while they’re otherwise occupied. Some couples like to schedule a regular weekly meeting. Even if you don’t have issues to discuss each week, a scheduled check-in time can remind you both of your commitment to your relationship and to your family.
Listen with the intent to understand.
People often get locked into their positions. If you have a need to be “right,” try to release it and instead be open to what your partner is saying. See if you can set aside your judgments as you listen to a different point of view.
As your partner talks, rather than focusing on how you’ll respond, focus on what they’re saying. Paraphrasing their words back to them will not only help you pay attention, it will also show them you’re listening. Giving people your full attention can help them feel heard and valued – a cornerstone to building stronger relationships.
Be on the same page before communicating with your child.
If you and your partner are on opposite sides of an issue, see if you can find a compromise. In cases where the issue relates to a family matter, be sure to avoid situations where your child is asked to pick sides. Presenting a united front helps to create an atmosphere of security and stability in the family.
There may be times when the two of you simply disagree and you’re unable to find middle ground. In those times, can you agree to disagree? If you’ve reached an impasse with a serious issue, consider trying couples counseling to help you work through a challenging time.
Communication is rarely going to be perfect. However, if you speak mindfully with your partner, you’ll not only build trust and understanding in your relationship, you’ll also strengthen the entire family unit.
Joy Rains is a corporate mindfulness trainer and the author of Meditation Illuminated: Simple Ways to Manage Your Busy Mind. Learn more at joyrains.com.
