Adjusting to having a new baby in the house can be difficult for the whole
family. Sleepless nights and a change in routine can leave mom feeling
overwhelmed and exhausted. Offering support to a family with a new baby can
help them adjust to their new normal. Often when you ask what you can help
with, mom isn’t able to think of the exact way she needs help. Here are
some ideas:
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Stop by the store
Going to the store with newborn and possibly older children for the first
time can be a daunting task. Offer to pick up a few things the family
needs. This is especially easy if you will be out running errands already.
Many grocery stores now offer drive-through pick up. Have the family order
and pay for groceries online, then pick them up and deliver them. Helping
to put them away would be an extra bonus. -
Help around the house
Sweep the floor, fold laundry, vacuum or do dishes. Even a little bit of
tidying up can make a big difference. A clean house during a period of
transition can bring order to a time that feels chaotic. However, mom may
prefer to clean herself. Offer to care for the baby and other children
while she works on a household project. -
Come when others don’t
Not all new moms are “new moms”. Families that are adding their second,
third or fourth child need help just as much as first-time moms, if not
more. When there are older children, there is no time for rest when the
baby rests. Older children do not stop activities just because a new baby
has arrived and mom and dad are tired. It can be very difficult to
entertain a toddler while mom is nursing or changing diapers. Offer to take
care of the older children for mom or offer to take care of baby so she can
spend some alone time with her older children. -
Provide a meal
Friends and family often send versatile casseroles like lasagna after the
new baby is home. Try thinking outside the 13×9 pan. Why not bring the
family the fixings for breakfast and lunch rather than just for dinner?
Stock the freezer with easy, ready-to-make items like pizza, pasta, soup
and crock pot meals. Then the family can pull something out of the freezer
when they are not up for cooking. Crunched for time or don’t feel like
making an extra meal? Bring the family their favorite take out or send a
gift card. -
Set up a train
When one meal just doesn’t cover it, set up a meal train using websites
like signupgenius.com or
takethemameal.com. Discuss with
the family the most convenient dates and times to deliver meals and solicit
friends to fill all the open spots. Social media is a great place to
recruit people you might not think to ask. -
Let her shower
A new mom may feel she doesn’t have time for basic things like a shower,
rest or eating a meal. One of the simplest ways to help a new mom is to
hold the baby and watch the other children while she eats lunch, enjoys a
relaxing shower or takes a short nap. When mom is rested, fed and freshened
up, it can really make her feel ready to take on the rest of the day. -
Help with the older kids
Show support by offering to pick up the older kids, even if it’s just for a
couple of hours. If you are taking your own children to the park, swing by
and pick up hers for the afternoon. This gets them out of the house and
gives mom a break. Driving the kids to school or activities is also a big
help for a family with a new baby. Time alone with baby may be just what
mom needs. -
Ask about her birth story
Giving birth is a huge milestone, an experience no mom will ever forget.
Every birth has a story and many times there aren’t a lot of chances to
tell it. Ask about her birth story and listen. Becoming a mom is a joyful,
stressful, awe- inspiring and life-changing experience. Telling the birth
story helps women to process and embrace this new journey. -
Bring a gift for mom
Many people bring gifts for the baby, but mom is usually the one doing all
the work. Bring a snack or treat for mom to enjoy. Other great gifts are
ones that pamper mom or make her feel beautiful and comfortable in her
postpartum body. Lotion, perfume, a new nightgown or slippers are some good
ideas. A delivery of flowers is another great way to bring cheer and make
mom feel special. -
Don’t stay too long
Families who have newborns generally like to have company, especially if
they pitch in around the house and help with the kids. However, don’t
overstay your welcome. New parents tire easily. Visit the family, bring a
meal and help out but watch for clues from mom as to when the family would
like some alone time. -
Take her somewhere
Mom may not be able to drive for a few weeks after birth. Offer to take her
on errands or just out for coffee. Being able to get out of the house can
do wonders for someone’s attitude. -
Don’t give advice
An important tip for anyone chatting with a new mom is to listen but don’t
give advice unless you are asked. It can be frustrating and overwhelming
for her to get unsolicited advice from everyone she bumps into.
It’s important to ask mom what would help her. Would she prefer to have
help with housework? Would she like you to hold the baby while she gets
some things done? Some moms would prefer to have someone to chat with for a
while and some moms may want to get out of the house for a bit. Offer
several options and see what sounds most appealing to the new mom. Any
offer to help is always appreciated by a family adjusting to having a new
baby in the house.
