Getting ready for the holidays? December is an ideal time to teach your child how to be mindful of different traditions. For example, if your family lights a menorah with blue and white candles, your child may question a friend’s family tradition of lighting a kinara with black, green and red candles. Consider teaching your child how to foster a mindset of inclusiveness, rather than a mindset of “othering,” or dividing people based on perceived differences.
Here are a few tips to help your child be mindful of different traditions:
- Notice judgments. Ask your child what they think about traditions that are different from theirs. If your child realizes that they’re judging a classmate, they can ask themselves, “Is my judgment true? Can I value my friend’s traditions even though they’re different from mine?”
- Perhaps your child thinks that having a Christmas tree is the “right way” to celebrate. If so, consider sharing a message such as, “Not everyone celebrates like we do. Just as there are many different religions and traditions, there are many different ways to celebrate.”
- Accept differences. Here’s an analogy you can share with your child: Just as there are many different types of flowers, there are many different types of traditions. For example, consider a flower arrangement with beautiful daisies, tulips and roses. They all express themselves differently. The daisy isn’t wrong for not having the bright colors of the tulip and the rose isn’t wrong for having thorns. They are grouped together, their differences making the arrangement more interesting.
- In the same way, if your child is grouped with multicultural classmates, their differences create a more interesting experience for each child.
- Cultivate a “we” mentality. Acknowledge there are differences in the way families spend time during the holiday season. Perhaps classmates’ holiday meals aren’t the same as their own. Perhaps classmates celebrate with varied holiday decorations or symbols. Perhaps classmates don’t celebrate any holidays in December – or during any month of the year.
- Despite any differences, show your child what it means to think in a “we” mentality rather than an “us vs. them” mentality. When they think in terms of “we,” they can focus on what unites them with classmates rather than on what divides them. No matter how each family spends the holiday season, their commonality is that they likely spend time together in ways that align with their values.
Finally, in addition to teaching your child about inclusivity, the holidays are also a good time to check in with any potential biases you may have. After all, your child takes their lead from you. If you’d like your child to be mindful of different traditions, consider making this a practice that the whole family can enjoy together.
Joy Rains is a corporate mindfulness trainer and the author of Meditation Illuminated: Simple Ways to Manage Your Busy Mind. Learn more at joyrains.com.
Joy Rains, author of the primer Meditation Illuminated: Simple Ways to Manage Your Busy Mind, discovered meditation in the mid-1980s. After decades of practice and inspired by meditation’s profound benefits, she completed an extensive Contemplative Leadership course and began teaching meditation in the community and workplace. Joy’s podcast, Mindful 180, helps people integrate mindful practices into their lives. www.joyrains.com
