When was the last time you talked to your children about racial
differences? Conversations about skin color typically start in preschool as
children become more curious about other people and the world around them.
Ebony Elizabeth Thomas
, a professor of education at the University of Pennsylvania, said children
are not waiting around for adults to talk about these issues. She found
that kids are ready to discuss these topics early and are already doing so
whether we realize it or not.
Many parents, however, shy away from talking about the world’s ugliness
with their kids, hoping that they will stay naïve and innocent for as
long as possible. Thomas says this is not the best approach to take. It is
more effective if we are in touch with our children earlier on and address
these issues together as they grow.
It may be difficult to find the appropriate time or place to bring up race.
Keep an eye out for opportunities that pop up, like a TV show, a book, a
song or an event that touches on the topic. Or maybe your young child
notices that someone else has darker skin than he does. The more subtly you
broach the topic, the easier it will be for both you and your child.
An article in
Parenting magazine
offered a really clever way to begin the conversation with young children.
Invite them to help cook some eggs with you in the kitchen. Be sure to have
some white eggs and brown eggs. Ask your children what they notice about
the eggs. What is different about them on the outside? Then crack the eggs
together and ask them what they notice about the insides of the eggs. Point
out how they are the same inside. Then make the link by explaining how eggs
are just like people – they come in different shades, but they are the same
on the inside. We should not judge someone by their appearance.
Tips for Teaching Children About Race
Because talking to our kids about race issues is such a challenging task,
consider these helpful tips:
Examine your own biases first.
Before you even begin to talk to your children about racism, take some time
to look inside yourself and acknowledge your own experiences, biases or
privileges that may influence how you address these issues. Don’t be afraid
to share your own struggles about these topics with your kids. You can tell
them that you are not an expert and want to work together with them to
learn more. Consider taking the
online test about bias created by Harvard experts
.
Be a good role model.
Many Americans think people are “naturally” racist, that racism is genetic.
This couldn’t be farther from the truth. According to experts, humans are
not born racist. Instead, racism is a product of history. Our children are
watching and listening to us.
Dr. Beverly Tatum
, psychologist, educator, author and past president of Spelman College,
suggests that the best way to reduce children’s prejudices is to model an
inclusive home, demonstrating that we have friends of all backgrounds. She
explains that “parents who have learned to lead multicultural lives,
connecting with people different from themselves, are more likely to have
children who develop those important life skills at an early age.”
Tell them the truth.
Racism is a very complicated issue that tends to be
over-simplified to the detriment of children’s education. Be sure to use
correct definitions and tell them about historical events like slavery and
the Civil Rights Movement. Turn to expert resources, like the
Teaching Tolerance website
that will walk you through the most effective ways to talk to your children
about these issues.
Avoid generalizations and stereotypes.
Choose your words carefully. Not every certain type of person in a
particular group believes the same thing. It’s important for children to
remain open-minded and to understand that individuals are unique and have
varying experiences and views.
Celebrate the positives.
Although there are some awful stories in our history of race relations in
this country, it’s important to also focus on some of the heroes who fought
for their freedom or continue to fight for equality today.
Encourage them to express their emotions.
Learning about racism can be very distressing. Give your children a safe
space to
reflect on how it makes them feel
. Their emotions can range from anger, shock, frustration, sadness,
hopelessness and fear. Then ask them to look for ways to transform those
negative emotions into positives, like hope and activism.
Link history to present time.
The most important reason to study the awful parts of history is to ensure
that it does not repeat itself. Take time to draw links between events from
the past with current affairs. Explain to your children that we are still
fighting for equality for all.
Resources
Fortunately, we have plenty of well thought out resources to turn to when
it is time to talk to our kids about race.
Books
- Books are a wonderful way to initiate a discussion about race with
children. Here’s a list of recommended books for kids about race: - “Lest We Forget” by Velma Maia Thomas
- “Unspoken” by Henry Cole
- “Let It Shine: Stories of Black Women Freedom Fighters” by Andrea Davis
Pinkney - “Separate is Never Equal: Sylvia Mendez & Her Family’s Fight for
Desegregation” by Duncan Tonatiuh - “Fred Korematsu Speaks Up” by Laura Atkins and Stan Yogi
- “Dolores Huerta: A Hero to Migrant Workers” by Sarah Warren
- “Unique and Wonderful” by Dee Smith
Films
As children get older, it is helpful to sit with them and watch
documentaries or movies that address racism. “Roots”, “12 Years a Slave”,
“Amistad”, “Belle”, “A Woman Called Moses”, “The Jackie Robison Story”,
“Selma”, “Remember the Titans” and “Invictus” are some of the most popular
ones to explore. Common Sense Media also has an
online database
of additional suggestions by age.
Field Trips/Museums
Exploring hands-on exhibits offers experiences that your children will
remember forever. You can visit any museum that highlights a specific
culture so that your kids can learn more about it. If you are unable to
visit these museums, consider perusing their websites with your kids. Here
are some museums to visit that address race issues:
Smithsonian National Museum of African American History &
Culture
in Washington, D.C.
Lest We Forget Slavery Museum
in Philadelphia, PA
Ozarks Afro-American Heritage Museum
in Ash Grove, MO
Charles H. Wright Museum of African American History
in Detroit, MI
National Underground Railroad Freedom Center
in Cincinnati, OH- The Reginald F. Lewis Museum in Baltimore, MD
