A significant challenge that parents and students must contend with is that today’s college applications no longer seem to be designed for a young adult to navigate unassisted. In addition, our conversations about going to college focus narrowly on the longshot with no clear path to achieving it. This reality propels many parents during every application cycle to unsuccessfully identify ways to beat the system for their student, because the process seems to be shrouded in mystery.
Myths and Misconceptions of College Admissions
Common knowledge about the college application process is fraught with many misconceptions. The most common myth is probably “the perfect essay” that is desperately sought by students and parents alike to use as an example when writing the general essay. The truth is that the perfect essay does not exist once taken out of context of a particular student’s life. There is no perfect essay and there is no perfect essay topic. The essay is a means by which students share a snapshot of who they are with colleges, which makes it both personal and difficult to do.
Other common misconceptions are that only the best students or those with an unfair advantage or a sob story get into top colleges. Such ideas are continually circulated year after year, but they reflect a poor understanding of what colleges are considering when admitting students. A common mistake that students make during the application process is to give their power away and dim what you love about them as they morph into what they think their dream college is looking for. This is the wrong approach and generally yields poor results. It is far more beneficial for students to focus on what they can control rather than on what they cannot.
Hidden Costs of Higher Education
In many respects, our fears drive how we approach college admissions, and we pass this fear onto our kids. As parents begin to panic about their teen’s college applications due in the fall, their relationship is tested. With good intentions and so much at stake, many parents take over the process of applying to college for their teens. This often does not play out well. Parental advice is frequently perceived as interference and a loss of control.
Teens across the country are experiencing higher rates of anxiety and stress from the intense pressure they are under in school. Even still, most teens want to feel trusted to manage the process despite being overwhelmed and feeling lost about where to begin. Using an educational consultant can help with this family dynamic, but ultimately the application process should be driven by the student – who they are, what they view as success, and what they need to be successful. When this happens, family members feel more aligned with one another, and tensions subside.
Teach your child they are more than their disappointments, and what they have to offer is not diminished by a college’s decision. Helping our kids to understand this long before they apply to college will enable them to accept their results and see the positives that lie before them.
Preparing Students for College
When parents take on the responsibility of applying to college, their teenager misses out on a necessary opportunity for growth that helps prepare them for college. As we hyperfocus on getting into college, not enough attention is being paid to preparing students for what college entails. Being admitted to college is only the start of their journey.
Freshmen year typically has the highest attrition rate, because many students are underprepared for the level of independence that is thrust upon them once they are there. Students benefit more in the short term and long term by developing their own interests and maintaining balance in their lives. Parents who actively use the college application process to help their teens prepare for this transition are providing them with a needed layer of protection and increasing their chances of success once they are finally there.
Going to College Is Only the Beginning
One piece of advice that I would give to every parent as they envision their child’s future is avoid the FOMO (fear of missing out) trap and help their child develop a mindset of optimistic possibility. When we as parents can help our kids believe in their own abilities, so much more will fall into place. Successful students are the ones who make the most of whatever opportunities they have. No matter where your teen goes to college, they need to be ready for being there.
