Summer is a time without the structure of school, homework and sports. For many families, it’s also a rather chaotic time, with shifting schedules and multiple activities. For divorced and blended families, the chaos is increased with the need to synchronize multiple family schedules. What can co-parents in divorced and blended families do to make summer camp fun?
Plan Ahead
A review of legal practices in the DMV resulted in five key pieces of advice:
- Plan ahead – As part of your divorce arrangement, specify who is responsible for camp fees, camp selection, before/aftercare, parent’s day activities and scheduled phone calls. Be sure to include play dates and carpool arrangements. Nailing it all down before a problem arises will reduce the likelihood of problems.
- Speak to the camp – Be sure the camp knows about your custody arrangement and any associated matters such as who is allowed to pick up a child from camp. Let them know if one or more families will be coming for visiting day so the camp can help to make it go smoothly for the child. Ask their protocol for phone calls home – can your child make one to each family rather than one in total? Be as specific as you can so the camp can work with you.
- Brainstorm complications – What if your child hates the camp? What if your child gets sick? What if one parent is required to make a change to their schedule? Problem-solve solutions before the need arises – then hope the need doesn’t arise.
- Share a calendar – For the purposes of summer and beyond, establish a shared online calendar if all parties agree. This way, everyone can not only see what’s going on but also view it at a time that works for them. Have a message generated to all subscribers when an event is added or changed. Use the calendar to make child care related matters transparent.
- Put it in writing – Have a written record in a shared folder. If all parties agree, it can help to include the plan and a communication log with info on contacts with camp, school, coaches and other parents in a central, accessible place. The more you can agree upon and put in place before summer begins, the more everyone can expect a smooth experience.
Coordinate
There are things you can do to benefit your child’s social and emotional health, too. Melissa Murphy, LCSW-C is founder and clinical director of Bethesda Therapy. In her work, she’s found that “the key to summer working well for divorced and blended families is to get really organized a few months ahead, if possible. It’s especially important in our area because we’re trying to register for camps in January. If you try to fly by the seat of your pants with summer plans, it can really be chaotic.”
“For a blended family it gets even more complicated,” Murphy says, “because you’re juggling a lot of different schedules and sometimes multiple ages and age brackets.” There’s no doubt this requires additional planning and communication. But, blended or not, co-parents can coordinate with a shared calendar if all parties agree, and communicate via an email or text that creates a record if communication is difficult. “The more effort you put into coordinating this ahead,” Murphy continues, “the less pain when summer arrives.”
There’s another upside to a solid plan, she says. “It may seem contradictory, but once you have the plan in place, both families can be more flexible if plans change or something comes up. This helps the summer be joyful.” But don’t stop here with your planning, she advises. “When you can, include some downtime, too, to give your kids time to just be at the pool, go on walks, go on hikes, get outside, detach from screens and also detach from constantly having to be somewhere.”
It’s clear that planning and coordination between co-parents, along with communication with the camp up front, can pave the way for a terrific summer camp experience.
Gina Hagler is a freelance writer and founder of KidWrite! Language Arts.
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Gina Hagler is a freelance STEM writer and author. She also provides parents with family-friendly Language Arts ideas and materials at KidWrite!
