If you’ve ever battled with your child over bedtime, you’re not alone. From preschoolers who resist lights-out to teens glued to their phones, sleep struggles are common. But good sleep is essential for healthy growth, learning and emotional well-being, so working as a family on developing good sleep habits can go a long way toward helping your child.
How much sleep do kids need?
Sleep needs vary by age:
- Preschoolers (ages 3-5): 10-13 hours per night
- School-age kids (6-13): 9-11 hours
- Teens (14+): Ideally 8-10 hours
For younger kids in particular, bedtime routines are key. A 5-year-old might go to bed at 7 p.m. and wake up at 7 a.m. for a solid 12 hours of shuteye. As kids grow, they need slightly less sleep, but consistency remains critical.
Why sleep is so important
Sleep fuels everything: cognitive development, emotional regulation and physical health.
When I talk to teens, I tell them that sleep improves focus, mood and even athletic and academic performance. I tell athletic kids that sleep will help them perform at their peak. I tell academically driven kids that sleep helps the brain process and retain information.
Common sleep saboteurs
The biggest culprit? Screens. Phones, tablets and TVs flood the brain with stimulation, making it hard to wind down. Even after putting the phone down, the brain needs 30-60 minutes to calm down. I recommend powering down devices at least an hour before bedtime and keeping phones out of the bedroom.
Caffeine can also negatively interfere with sleep, as can inconsistent schedules.
Doing homework or reading in bed can also disrupt sleep. The bed should be for sleeping. Mixing work and rest confuses the brain, making it harder to fall asleep.
Sleep hygiene tips for every age
Good sleep habits – often called “sleep hygiene” – set the stage for restful nights. Here are some tips:
- Create a calming bedtime routine: Bath, pajamas, brushing teeth and reading together signal the brain it’s time to sleep.
- Dim lights and keep the room cool and quiet: Blackout shades and cozy bedding help create a sleep-friendly environment.
- Avoid screens and caffeine before bed: Ideally, no screens within an hour of bedtime and no caffeinated drinks after lunch.
- Stick to consistent bed and wake times, even on weekends: If you allow flexibility, keep it within an hour of the usual schedule.
- Remove TVs and devices from bedrooms: Out of sight, out of mind. Consider turning the face of clocks away from kids’ line of sight so they don’t stress over the time when they are trying to fall asleep.
For younger kids, routines are especially important. The brain loves patterns. Start practicing good sleep hygiene with little ones so bedtime battles will be easier when they are older.
Signs your child isn’t getting enough sleep
Kids don’t always say, “I didn’t sleep well.” Instead, parents may need to look for clues:
- Daytime sleepiness or frequent naps
- Declining school performance
- Mood swings or irritability
- Falling asleep in class
- Long afternoon naps (more than an hour)
For teens in particular, persistent sleep issues with no obvious reason can signal something deeper, such as depression. Difficulty sleeping can be a way of saying, “I’m not doing well.” If you suspect this, start a conversation and seek professional help.
When to seek help
If you’ve tried everything — consistent routines, screen limits, calming environments — and your child still struggles with sleep, talk to your pediatrician. Sometimes underlying issues such as sleep apnea or anxiety are at play. Snoring, pauses in breathing or restless sleep warrant a conversation with a doctor. Further investigation may be needed.
What about melatonin?
Melatonin can help in certain cases, but it’s not a first-line solution. “If you’ve tried all the routines and nothing works, consider talking about melatonin with your pediatrician. Start with the lowest dose, use it as a short-term aid and taper off. The goal is to restore natural sleep patterns rather than rely on supplements long term.
Whether your child dreams of straight As or sports stardom, adequate rest is non-negotiable. Start early, set routines and make sleep a family priority. Every child is different. Yours may need a little more sleep or a little less, but regardless, consistency is key.
Samuel Milbin, MD, is a board-certified pediatrician with the Mid-Atlantic Permanente Medical Group. He sees patients at the Kaiser Permanente Woodlawn Medical Center.
