Over the past few years, Ohio State University has been conducting research on working parent burnout. Here’s what the studies have shown:
- Two-thirds of parents reported feeling burnout, as measured by a 10-question assessment (e.g., “Do you feel you are in survival mode as a parent?”).
- Nearly 70% of mothers and just over 40% of fathers reported burnout.
- Burnout was more common among parents with multiple children, those with a history of anxiety, those with children with ADHD or mental health concerns and those with heavy alcohol use.
- Parental depression and anxiety, along with increased alcohol use, were strongly linked to burnout.
- Burnout was associated with negative parenting behaviors, such as insulting, yelling or spanking children.
What the Authors Recommend
The researchers offered several practical recommendations for parents dealing with burnout:
- Take good self-care (it’s not selfish!): Even small breaks –
like sipping a warm beverage slowly or doing a five-minute meditation – can help restore your well-being.
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- Be kind to yourself: Set realistic expectations and don’t feel guilty for saying “no.” Recognize that no one is perfect.
- Talk to someone you trust: Stay connected with friends and family to avoid isolation.
- Build mental resilience: Practice mindfulness, gratitude and deep breathing to cope with stress.
- Seek professional help: If your burnout, anxiety or depressive symptoms are affecting your ability to function, it’s important to reach out to a healthcare provider.
- Build a strong relationship with your child through connection and active listening.
- Stay in the present moment and stop unhealthy thought patterns
- Reflect, then act on your priorities
My Takeaways From the Research
The studies’ findings didn’t surprise me. It was helpful, though, to see how common burnout is among parents – particularly those balancing work, family and mental health challenges. However, I wondered: Can parents read this survey and use the findings to actually improve their parenting effectiveness and well-being?
As a practicing cardiologist, I often remind my patients that ordering medical tests is pointless unless you know in advance how the results will inform your decisions. This same idea applies to the Ohio State study. While the findings are valuable, I ask myself: What will parents do with this information? Can they effectively apply the results to make meaningful changes?
My Learning Journey
It wasn’t until my wife and I read Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish’s How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and attended a Parent Encouragement Program (PEP) event that we realized parenting wasn’t just about managing kids – it was about learning to be better parents ourselves.
Over the years, my wife and I have come to believe that effective parenting requires ongoing learning. Just as you wouldn’t expect to play the piano well without a good teacher, you can’t expect to be an expert parent without some guidance and practice.
Taking parenting classes and eventually becoming volunteer educators at PEP provided structure, tools and insights that brought unexpected order, discipline and joy to our family life. Through this experience, we learned that positive parenting techniques could be learned and refined, and that these skills made a profound difference in our children’s well-being. In fact, my wife became so committed to the cause of parenting that she wrote a book on the subject (more about that below).
My Recommendation to You
While the Ohio State study offers some valuable insights, nothing compares to the transformation that comes from committing to an ongoing journey of learning about parenting. Good books, like Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen and The Good News About Bad Behavior by Katherine Lewis (yes, that’s my wife!), are helpful, as are books by Alyson Schafer, whose work blends humor and humility. But I also encourage you to explore programs like PEP’s, which offer free online resources, on-demand videos and live workshops.
Parenting, like any skill, requires learning through seeing, hearing, trying and doing. The more you invest in this process, the more likely you are to create lasting positive changes in your family dynamic.
Reading research reports like those by Ohio State is a good start. But for real, lasting change, committing to a life of learning about parenting is essential. It’s a journey that requires effort, reflection and growth – but it’s one that can truly enhance your relationships with your children and make a lasting impact on your family’s well-being.
Dr. Brian Lewis, the father of three confident, capable children, is also a volunteer parent educator with the Parent Encouragement Program (PEP) in Kensington, Md. For information about PEP’s online programs for parents and organizations, see pepparent.org
Dr. Brian Lewis, the father of three confident, capable children, is also a volunteer parent educator with the Parent Encouragement Program (PEP) in Kensington, Md. For information about PEP’s online programs for parents and organizations, see pepparent.org.
