Could your daughter be a girl with undiagnosed ADHD? Girls with ADHD come in lots of different “flavors,” but few of them look like our idea of ADHD: a young student, typically a boy, who is hyperactive, disruptive and not doing well in school. As long as we cling to this outdated stereotype, most girls will remain undiagnosed.
Recognize any of these girls?
Perfectionist Patty:
Typically earns top grades in elementary school. She is driven to excel, no matter the cost. The teacher thinks there’s no problem at all, her mother worries about how late she stays up trying to turn in the “perfect” project or assignment.
Shy Samantha:
Gets stomach aches and asks to stay home from school because she doesn’t feel good, and dreads being called on by the teacher. She worries that she will embarrass herself because she may not have been listening to what the teacher was saying.
Tomboy Tara:
May be a top soccer player, or perhaps her passion is horses and she’s most comfortable mucking out the barn and not being “girlie” like so many of her classmates. She may be prone to losing personal items and to losing concentration except when she’s doing her favorite activities. She makes decent grades and needs to be active.
Dramatic Dora:
May get into verbal arguments with other girls, especially if she feels she’s been criticized. Her parents find her emotional overreactions exhausting. She can argue endlessly at home if she feels something “isn’t fair.” At school, her teacher just sees a girl that likes to draw attention to herself.
Anxious Alyssa:
seems to always live in a state of worry. She may cry if she hasn’t completed her project on time, or if she feels she didn’t do well on a test at school. Alyssa has trouble keeping up with the verbal chatter of the other girls in her class. She’s very afraid of making mistakes. The teacher is aware of Alyssa’s anxiety, but has no idea that ADHD is the underlying issue.
Chatty Kathy:
talks constantly, but few parents or teachers understand that her constant verbal stream is a version of hyperactivity. Her grades may be okay, but she may forget to turn in her homework and seems disorganized when she comes to class. Her teacher wishes she would quiet down and stop distracting her classmates.
Why does it matter if girls are diagnosed?
None of the girls I’ve described is failing in elementary school. Boys are more likely to be diagnosed because they distress their parents and teachers by being loud, disruptive and doing poorly academically. For girls, their distress is internal and less likely to be recognized as ADHD. A new not-for-profit organization has been created – FINDtheADHDgirls – to help parents and educators better understand and help girls with ADHD. There, parents can find a checklist to help them explore whether their daughter might have ADHD. It offers a comprehensive list of risks experienced by girls as well as support and information for parents.
The risks for undiagnosed girls are many, and symptoms tend to become dramatically worse around age 11 or 12 when girls enter puberty, and their fluctuating hormones make their ADHD symptoms more intense.
Common risks are:
- Social difficulties: feeling out of place, trouble making friends, being bullied or rejected by peers
- Academic struggles: inconsistent, forgets to turn in homework, struggles to do well on tests, poor grades despite intelligence
- Emotional issues: low self-esteem, emotional over-reactions, highly sensitive to rejection
- Risks increase in middle and high school: smoking/vaping; substance abuse, lower academic performance, depression, increased anxiety, sexual impulsivity, unplanned pregnancy, engaging in self-harm in response to social rejection and depression
The biggest risk is to ignore the challenges your daughter is facing until their problems become larger and more complex in middle and high school. After puberty, most girls with untreated ADHD begin to struggle with anxiety, depression and low self-esteem, which can lead to poor decisions, dropping out of school and struggling as young adults to manage their lives well. The good news is, there is help available once parents understand their daughter’s needs.
RESOURCES FOR PARENTS ON GIRLS AND ADHD
- FINDtheADHDgirls’ resource page lists online support communities, books, videos, digital media, info sheets and more along with monthly handouts for parents.
- CHADD.org – a national advocacy organization supporting families impacted by ADHD
- ADDitude magazine – a nationally distributed magazine with excellent, up-to-date information for families and professionals impacted by ADHD
- Understanding Girls with ADHD by Kathleen Nadeau, Ph.D., Ellen Littman, Ph.D., and Patricia Quinn, M.D. – with chapters and checklists for girls at each age and stage to help parents understand their daughter’s challenges and learn how to help their daughters meet those challenges.
Kathleen Nadeau, Ph.D. is founder and director of The Chesapeake Center in Bethesda, Md. She is an internationally recognized authority on ADHD in girls and women. She is the coauthor of two groundbreaking books on females with ADHD: Understanding Girls with ADHD and Understanding Women with ADHD. Currently, she is developing a teacher questionnaire to help teachers better identify girls with ADHD in the classroom.
Kathleen Nadeau, Ph.D. is founder and director of The Chesapeake Center in Bethesda, Md. She is an internationally recognized authority on ADHD in girls and women. She is the coauthor of two groundbreaking books on females with ADHD: Understanding Girls with ADHD and Understanding Women with ADHD. Currently, she is developing a teacher questionnaire to help teachers better identify girls with ADHD in the classroom.
