Nurturing Growth and Connection in Neurodivergent Children

Before I became an occupational therapy assistant, I was a single mother raising a child with cerebral palsy. My early exposure to therapy came from the other side of the table — navigating appointments, working with providers and doing my best to meet my daughter’s needs. That experience led me into the OT field more than 20 years ago, but it wasn’t until the past five years when I faced the sensory and emotional needs of my own neurodivergent children that I began to truly understand the power of caregiver reflection. It wasn’t a diagnosis that changed me, but a new lens — one that showed me progress doesn’t begin with a perfect plan. It begins with giving yourself permission to reflect, to be imperfect and to find strength in connection.

That shift deepened my connection to my work. Today, I carry both lenses, therapist and parent, and the most meaningful change in therapy doesn’t happen to a child. It happens with the adults who support them.

Planting the Seed: A Sensory Metaphor Rooted in Therapy and Parenting

One of the ways I help families and educators understand a child’s sensory and emotional needs is through a metaphor I return to often in therapy: planting the seed. In this metaphor, the child is the seed—full of potential, waiting for the right conditions to grow, but seeds don’t grow in isolation. They need soil, space, and water. The soil is the child’s sensory foundation, the ability to process touch, sound, movement, and body awareness. Without rich, supported soil, it’s difficult for a child to build higher-level skills like attention, regulation, or even social interaction. The hole is the space created by caregivers—a pause for compassion, curiosity, and flexibility. It takes courage to slow down and say, “Maybe my child’s behavior is a form of communication, and I need to look at how I respond, too.” The water is presence, reflection, and consistency. Growth doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from connection and care.

Modeling the Metaphor in Real Life

I’ve seen this metaphor come to life in countless sessions. During a school-based activity, a pre-K class decorated me as a holiday tree. They problem-solved and communicated while I stayed steady and open. In that moment, I was the soil. Their growth came from the space I created that was rooted in trust, creativity and connection.

In another session, a father and son navigated an obstacle course while keeping a balloon afloat between them. They laughed, adjusted and moved in sync. The activity worked on motor skills, but more importantly, it strengthened trust and emotional connection.

During another activity with a mother and son, they sat side by side painting. There was a mutual moment of reflection and emotional resonance. These sessions remind me that therapy isn’t always about fixing, it’s about creating space where connection and understanding can bloom.

Occupational Therapy Is for the Whole Family

In my work, I don’t just support the child, I support the caregiver. I help them understand their own sensory preferences or nervous system. Often, giving them permission to be seen and feel supported. I remind caregivers that regulation starts with them, and they are not alone.

I also plant seeds with teachers who may feel overwhelmed by a child’s differences. I translate behaviors into needs and offer small, realistic strategies that build empathy. When we work together, children flourish.

Caregiver Reflection Isn’t Extra — It’s Foundational

Reflection isn’t about blame, it’s about understanding. When caregivers become aware of their own triggers, they can co-regulate and connect with their children more effectively. That is often the starting point for everything else: emotional safety, behavior change and functional growth.

We grow together — through insight, compassion and trust. So, if you are in a situation where nothing seems to be working, take heart and give yourself grace. Some days, a seed just needs to sit in the soil. Maybe you’ve already planted the seed. Now might be the time to soften your soil, create space and water it gently. That’s how growth begins. Over time, small shifts lead to big changes at home, in therapy and in the relationship between the child and adult.