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April 2009

Ages & Stages

Avoid the Dine and Dash Syndrome:
Setting the Table for Enjoyable Family Meals

By Robbye Fox

It’s 5:30 p.m., and 12-year-old Tiffany has just arrived home from play practice with what she calls a “pile of homework.” Basketball practice for Max, age 10, which is coached by Dad, starts at 6:30 p.m. Sam, age 8, has just completed his homework and is actively engaged in his one-hour allotment of computer time.

And then there’s dinner. Parents hear again and again about the importance of eating together as a family, but at times like this, it hardly seems possible. At the end of a long day, parents scramble to fix a meal, only to hear complaints about what is being served. Mealtime can be so stressful that some family members feel like avoiding the dinner table altogether.

But by letting go and making a few simple changes, mealtime can become a fun time no one wants to miss.

Think Outside a Seated Supper

With spring finally here, consider packing a family picnic and eating together on the sidelines before ball practice or a game. If the weather isn’t great, eat together in the car! A family meal does not have to take place at the kitchen table.

For parents who are home during the day, make the after-school snack time sacred. It provides a great opportunity to reconnect and enjoy a healthy snack together. Combine these snack times with a weekly Sunday brunch, and you’ll add hours of family time to the busy week.

One Silver Spring mom with four kids found dinners impossible except on Sundays, due to everyone’s busy schedule. Instead of eating dinners together, she established a family breakfast ritual. Every morning at 7, they sit at the table before the older kids leave for school and after the younger kids wake up. “The breakfasts are simple, often just fruit and bagels, and usually last only 15 minutes, but they are a great way to start the day,” she says. “They also give us at least one hour of family time each week that we wouldn’t otherwise have.”

Invite All Hands on Deck

Solicit your children’s input when it comes to menu, location, time and other dining details. With the growing popularity of culinary shows, some kids are better chefs than their parents. Plus, kids are more likely to eat the meal if they help prepare it.

“Taking the time to involve your children offers many benefits,” says Aviva Goldfarb, Chevy Chase mom of two and author and founder of The Six O’Clock Scramble, a seasonal online weekly menu planner and cookbook. “Kids love to use kitchen tools, such as salad spinners, juicers or quick choppers. By helping out, they are not only more invested in the meal, but they learn about nutrition, math, food preparation and get a chance to be creative,” she says.

Encourage your computer-savvy children to seek out recipes on websites, such as Recipes.com or FoodNetwork.com. Take them grocery shopping, and share the responsibility of finding the items on the list. Even families short on time can throw together a few casseroles on the weekend, which can be heated up on busy weekdays.

Establish a No Hassle Zone

While it’s efficient to use mealtime to discuss issues, such as chores and homework, consider banning these topics from the family table conversations. Children will dread mealtime if it’s always accompanied by banter over broken rules, family problems and missed homework.

Keep conversations light by asking fun and thoughtful questions. Tabletopics.com offers conversation starters, such as, “What’s your favorite family tradition?” “What is your very first memory?” or, “Is it more fun to be a parent or a child?” Asking these questions offers parents a great opportunity to tell their stories of growing up, while indirectly sharing family values.

Many families use a “celebration” or “encouragement” plate that rotates among the family members each meal. Parents and siblings take turns offering positive words of appreciation or encouragement for the family member with the special plate.

Tune Out While Tuning In

Turn off all televisions, radios, computers and cell phones, and turn on the answering machine. Family members are more likely to speak up if others are truly listening.

Robbye Fox is a certified parent educator with the Parent Encouragement Program (PEP) who enjoys family meals with her husband, son and two daughters. PEP offers parenting classes and workshops for parents with kids of all ages. For more information, visit www.PEPparent.org.

Health & Lifestyle Benefits of Family Meals

Studies show that kids in families who eat together regularly are less likely to:

They are also more likely to:

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